Game Time: What Movie Led to This Tangent? End of '08 Wrap Up

Victoria Alexander doesn't have to follow what us mere mortals consider to be "logic." Therefore, she feels a stream-of-consciousness approach is the best when it comes to movie reviews. The goal is to try to guess what movie she was reviewing when she made the following...um...observations.

1) In "The Boy in the Striped Pajamas" David Thelis plays an SS officer but does not speak with a German accent. No one in HBO's terrific mini-series "Rome" spoke with Italian accents. We only like English accents, not Russian (Sean Connery in "The Hunt for Red October" and Harrison Ford in "K-19: The Widowmaker" tried) or ethnic accents (except Borat).

2) My friend's passion is raising rare animals, having recently brought a new species of pony to Brazil. His newest additions are a baby lama and two emus. My friend and his wife also own part of the rain forest adjoining their property. They have an array of rare birds, including a very rare Arara azul de Lear. Around only 450 still live in the wild and some in captivity. A Brazilian government official comes every six months to check on the bird's care. Trust me, these animals have a full-time staff catering to their every whim. As soon as my husband says "yes", Remi's paperwork will be submitted and he will be mine.

3) I have an altar to my favorite Brazilian orisha, Exú. Yes, I give tribute to Exú with money, whiskey and cigars. But there is nothing like an offering of one's own blood.

4) Is being alive just not good enough? As a society we are all unhappy because we realize that Donald Trump is not our father, we are not special, our sex lives suck, and we have not been chosen to star in our very own reality show. We have to work for a living.

5) A friend's wife of 10 years got addicted to one of those online fantasy worlds. She spent days online in a fantasy world. She had a fancy name and had her very own kingdom. She ran off with a 16-year-old boy in her fantasy kingdom. In love, she brought him from Kansas to California. My friend met him. He had wild red hair, acne, and lived with his parents. My friend got divorced.

1) This one seems easy enough. "The Boy in the Striped Pajamas," right? Nope, she's actually discussing Tom Cruise's lack of a German accent in "Valkyrie." But I can see how you made your mistake.

2) I'll give you a hint: "Remi" is the name of her imaginary dog. What dog movie recently came out? "Marley and Me!" I'll have to see it to look for llamas, emus, and rare, exotic birds.

3) The key word here (as is often the case in Victoria's life) is "blood." It could either be "Let the Right One In" or "Twilight" then. Well, which one is darker and involves making bloody sacrifices? The correct answer is "Twilight."

4) Victoria's getting existential now. She's come to terms with the pointless unhappiness of life. This self-reflection can only come after a viewing of "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button."

5) The answer to this one is kind of easy ("Role Models" which involves Not-McLovin's heavy involvement in Live Action Role Playing). I just love the little tale she tells about her friend's wife. Especially the fact that after being married for ten years, the wife brought this kid halfway across the country "in love." But the best part is the ambiguous ending. Did the friend choose to divorce his wife for meeting this 16-year-old, or did the wife divorce him because he stood in the way of her love? Find out in Victoria's upcoming review for "Inkheart."